


Can you hold me?

by Somethingwickedthiswaylives



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Comfort, F/M, Panic Attacks, Sweet Asra (The Arcana), anxiety description, asra hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 18:43:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20068774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somethingwickedthiswaylives/pseuds/Somethingwickedthiswaylives
Summary: MC has hidden out in the library and ends up lost in their thoughts. Asra appears and helps calm them down. I don't know how to make a summary.





	Can you hold me?

**Author's Note:**

> There is description of a panic/anxiety attack. I wanted to give another warning because I don't want anyone to get triggered by it. Uh...I kind of hate the ending because I had no idea how to end it and have been sitting on it for a day so I finally decided just to leave it as is and post it.

I had begun pacing not long ago, books blurring in my peripheral as I moved passed them. I was growing frustrated with my mind again, frustrated with my lost memories. It was a passing comment made by one of the servants, something about their family, that caused my mind to start racing. There were days it was easy for me to just go about everything as if I wasn’t missing years of my past, and then there were days where I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering and contemplating what my life could have been like before I woke up three years ago. I had kept my mind together fairly easily so far, taking my time to go through Julian's old desk or reading one of the many books that called to me, simple things to keep my mind busy. Those things just didn’t seem to be working anymore though.

I moved to the large windows that overlooked the palace gardens, taking in the midday sun that reflected off of the many plants. As I gazed outwards my mind wandered to Asra, wondering where he had traveled to this time, what adventures he was going on and if he was safe. I missed him, but I could never bring myself to be angry with him for traveling when he has done so much for me. A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I ran a hand down my face as I sat myself on the plush cushions below the window. Perhaps I should just go and talk with Nadia, tell her I haven’t found anything of use I the old desk and that no matter how many times I’ve searched the stacks nothing new was discovered. How long have I been locked away in here? It couldn’t have been more than a day, although the library was fairly dark depending on where I was so I haven't always had the suns position the help keep track. Has anyone realized that I wasn’t in my chambers or even wandering around the castle? Did they know where I was?

I hadn’t realized my breath suddenly become faster, or that it had become shallow and prevented the needed oxygen from reaching my lungs. My fingers grew numb and were trembling, the walls felt like they were closing in around me pressing into me. My magic flared around me causing frost to coat my surroundings, and the tears that flowed down my cheeks seemed to freeze in place. I tried wiping them away, rubbing harshly at my cheeks, hoping to clear the evidence of my breakdown away. I wanted Asra here, I wanted him to hold me close and tell me things would be alright but that wouldn’t be happening this time. I could feel my chest get tighter as the panic surged through me, sobs now falling freely past my lips as I couldn’t hold it back any longer. 

“(y/n).” Gentle hands held my face, guiding it upwards, violet eyes meeting mine. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts and feelings that I hadn’t heard him enter the library nor had I heard him approach. He was talking to me, mouth moving but I couldn’t focus enough to register what was being said. Faust moved on his shoulders, poking her head out of his scarf to look at me. 

_'Friend.'___

_ _ “(y/n), you’re okay. I need you to breath with me.” Asra took one of my hands and placed it on his chest, just above his heart, to help focus my breathing. The rise and fall of his breath was soothing but everything around me was still fuzzy and cold keeping my attention from being fully placed on him. My panic filled eyes met his again, silently asking him to help me, do something else to distract me. His arms slowly made their way around me, giving me the chance to pull away if it was too much, and locking securely around my waist. I pressed my face into his neck and hugged his middle, taking everything in about him that I've missed in his absence._ _

_ _ The minutes ticked on as we both sat on the cushions, my breathing slowly beginning to steady allowing my mind to calm. Asra’s voice was steady and low in my ear, regaling tales of his adventures and all the things he had come across. I swallowed thickly and removed my face from its hiding spot in his neck, keeping my eyes glued to the shelves behind him. “I’m sorry.”_ _

_ _ “You don’t need to be sorry.” He murmured hands ghosting down my arms to take my hands in his, intertwining our fingers. “When Nadia sent word to me that you hadn’t been seen in a few days I got so worried.”_ _

_ _ The frost around us had finally melted away, warming the air around us and Faust had poked her head back out of the confines of Asra’s clothing._ _

_ _ _'Okay?' ___

_ __ _

_ __ _

_ _ _ _ “I’m okay now.” I smiled watching her slither down from her perch and come to rest on my lap. I gently pet her, fingers trailing along the smooth scales of her body making her release a happy hiss. Asra had remained silent during our interaction, eyes glued to my face unsure if I was actually alright. “I am sorry though, I should have told Nadia I needed to go back to the shop for a few days or something but I just..I couldn’t bring myself to go to her.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ “You’re okay now (y/n), that's all that matters right now. I need you need to take care of yourself before anything else. I don’t want you putting this investigation above your health, I can’t lo-” He cut himself off then releasing one of my hands to run his through his hair, eyes flickering between me and the surrounding area. He took a deep breath before continuing, “Just be careful okay?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ I reached out, placing my hand gently on his face giving him what comfort I could. His eyes fell shut as he leaned into my palm and I couldn’t stop myself from running the fingers of my other hand through his hair. I couldn’t help but find the humor in our roles being switched as I began humming a song I always caught him singing under his breath as he worked in the shop._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ “You shouldn’t be the one comforting me, yet here we are.” He teased causing a blush to spread over my cheeks._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ “Fine I’ll comfort Faust then.” Picking up the snake I cuddled her to my chest turning my body away from him trying to hide my smile. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ “Hey now I didn’t mean that I didn't like it.” He scrambled closer to me and pulling me back into his chest, arms wrapped tightly around me. I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped then Asra soon joining in as well._ _ _ _


End file.
